We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I want you more than these girls want KFC
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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