is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
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