I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
