I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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