It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
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