PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Randomize
