Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
