Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I wish life had little blips of pornography
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize