Can Purell be used as lube?
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Randomize
