It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I wish i was in the wii world.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
i think i just naturally attract stoners
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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