I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Randomize