BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize
