i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Little spoons don't ask big questions
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
