I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
