I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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