Whod you bang
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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