HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize