im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
