You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
