The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
