I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
