i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
