Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
After last night, I could never be a politician.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Randomize
