I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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