I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
