We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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