if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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