This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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