if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
