Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
