I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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