If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
