You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
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