it was like his penis was on wheels.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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