he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize