If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
