I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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