Don't you send me to vm
She is in my trunk
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
