sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
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