bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
