I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
we're making bets on your personal life
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
