he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
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