I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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