Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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