living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
