Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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