Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
