found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
