I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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