yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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