all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
