He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
God I need to hump something, right now.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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