You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
it glows. i had to have it.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Is it penis luge time yet?
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
BRING THE BAGELS
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Randomize
