I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
