This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
