Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
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