im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Randomize
