God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
