i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
