is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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