ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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