did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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