If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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