you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Randomize
