watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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