I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
