Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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