bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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