she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize