Small penises have feelings too.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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