apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
