sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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