FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
