I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
