Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
3pm strippers are depressing
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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